Saturday, June 28, 2014

Raw #156 - April 22nd, 1996

This week’s Raw opens with a rematch between Savio Vega and Goldust for the vacant Intercontinental title. Vince comments that Goldust has “lost weight” as of late, referring to his loss of the IC belt and not to his infamous weight fluctuations over the next two decades. Vince compares Gorilla Monsoon’s decision last week to those of King Solomon, saying “you can’t split the baby in two” (which is not a reference to Terri Runnels’s kayfabe miscarriage in 1999). Jerry Lawler mentions that Sunny has “two huge surprises” for the Godwinns tonight. My guess is her breasts. Anyone else guessing, “breasts”?

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Raw #155 - April 15th, 1996

It's the WWF's first Tax Day in years without IRS! Tonight’s undercard has a “one half of tag teams” theme, with Bart Gunn of the Smoking Gunns taking on Steve Austin, and Leif Cassidy of the New Rockers facing Marc Mero. The Wildman enters with new valet Sable, who is decked out in leather. Mero celebrates by doing the Batusi. “Hunter Hearst Helmsley, eat your heart out!” says McMahon. HHH would have the last laugh, marrying Vince’s daughter and thus gaining control of the whole company. “I never thought she was that hot-looking to begin with,” says Lawler of Sable, two years before going nuts over her body-paint “bikini.”

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Raw #154 - April 8th, 1996

With Jerry Lawler facing Shawn Michaels in tonight’s main event, the King has been replaced on commentary. You could say that tonight’s announcing will be “perfect.” You’d be wrong, though, as Vince is still at the announce table. Our opening contest is Vader vs. Yokozuna, the match that was originally scheduled for Wrestlemania.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Raw #153 - April 1st, 1996

It’s the night after the Wrestlemania XII, and all through the house, not a creature is stirring, except to flip back and forth between Raw, Nitro, and the NCAA basketball finals. And what better way to kick things off than Bob “Spark Plugg” Holly, whose music plays at the beginning of the show! A new wrestler named, “Mankind” enters the ring to ominous music. Vince is taking a chance by letting Mick Foley debut under this name, rather than “Mason the Mutilator.”

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Raw #152 - March 25th, 1996

Shawn Michaels kicks off Raw by augmenting his male stripper gimmick with a Japanese tourist gimmick, coming to the ring with a camcorder to film everything in sight. After Shawn puts away the “Kliq Cam,” he introduces his hometown San Antonio crowd to Supersock José Lothario. Considering Michaels is the “Sexy Boy,” shouldn’t Lothario be “Supersoxy?” Or is the name “Lothario” sexual enough?

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Raw #151 - March 18th, 1996

Vince’s opening narration announces Diesel’s heel turn, which occurred at last night’s house show at Madison Square Garden. We are also promised another Billionaire Ted segment, this time involving the FTC. Oh boy!